Relinquishing Control

Journaling or blogging is something that I don’t do often (as you can see from my posting history).  However,  I do find it helpful to sort out and express thing from my heart.  Lately, I have been reading a devotional about parenting and raising children to know/love God.  Below is the entry I read today on Daily Dependence:

“We often long for God to reveal the whole path before us, but He usually gives us only one stepping stone at a time. During Israel’s desert wandering, God set up a system that required the Israelites to trust in His provision on a daily basis. He knew self-sufficiency would draw them away from Him.

It can be tough to choose a path of daily dependence on God in our lives and the lives of our children. We desperately want to plan, orchestrate, and manipulate all the details because it gives us a sense of control. The illusion of control however, can tempt us to rely on ourselves instead of God. Are you holding tightly to your sense of control, or are you depending on God for guidance?

Trust your children to God each morning. He knows what He’s doing.”

As I read this entry, my thoughts went beyond trusting God in relation to my children.  In general, I think I struggle with this whole subject of trust.  My past experiences in life have impacted my ability to trust fully.  I am generally guarded in all my interactions with those around me…being transparent at times to an extent (but not too transparent and revealing all of myself…my “residue”).  I view myself as “socially awkward”  meaning I want to be close to others.  I want to trust others but I don’t want to relinquish my perceived control and trust others with knowledge of my past experiences and current thoughts.

But God called me to obedience and to trust Him fully.  This means my trust must go beyond my children, beyond my marriage,  beyond my “comfort zone”.  This devotional entry reminded me that God places people in my life (our lives) for a purpose.  We all have past experiences and “residue”.  I think we (I) fool ourselves (myself) into thinking that we are the only ones to go through certain situations.  However, if we trust God and listen to His wisdom in our interactions with others,  He will reveal who we should share our “residue” history with for their encouragement and who will share with us for our encouragement. We just need to relinquish control to God and trust that He will take care of us.

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